Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Juice Cleanse Review

So I survived my juice cleanse, which I'm kind of surprised by. The beginning of the first day, I was so disgusted with the juices that I almost gave up. But by the time yesterday rolled by, I was able to pretty much breeze through the juices. The major problem I found was that I had horrible cravings the whole time, so instead of gradually beginning to incorporate solid foods into my diet like Urban Remedy recommends, the first thing I ate this morning was an egg and brie sandwich on a Hawaiian bun--fat, dairy, and gluten all at once. And I'll admit it, if I had found sausage in the fridge I would've cooked that up too--red meat, fat. 
But I guess the juice cleanse me taught me how to handle my hunger. Whenever I'm bored or feel the slightest hungry, I stuff my mouth. But now, I know what hunger feels like and that I don't actually need to eat. I'm not positive this is a healthy approach, but is it that horrible feeling uncomfortable? Maybe I've just grown accustomed to being unnecessarily full? We'll see how resisting my hunger cravings serves me.
Back to the juice cleanse, I'm not sure if I'd do it again. Physically, I don't feel much different. Looking at myself in the mirror, I think I look thinner but that might be some placebo self-esteem thing. I don't think my stomach actually got small with those 3 days of starvation and a couple Soul Cycle classes. However, my skin didn't glow....I'm 95% positive of that. Also (and this is a tad TMI) besides having to pee all the time, I did NOT spend an abnormal amount of time on the toilet. Everyone warned me of that with a cleanse (I mean honestly Rachel, how else does it "cleanse" it from your body") but I guess I just peed it out or it was released through my pores or something. I felt fine. 
All in all, it was an interesting experience, and I definitely got more work done during the past three days than the rest of break. Hopefully, this juice cleanse will really be the beginning of better habits. Here's to exercising more, eating better, and appreciating food more!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Juice Cleanse: Why Do We Juice?

I woke up this morning certain that my phone had died and I had missed my alarm. Instead, I had actually woken up before my perfectly timed chiming period (Sleep Cycle reference). I'm also super hungry but have run out of lemon for my tea in the morning. So here I am sitting in bed, with hunger in my throat, but unwilling to drink the Brainiac juice sitting on my bedside table.
Urban Remedy's email this morning told me that I'm supposed to glow today. As if my juice cleanse has the same magical powers as pregnancy. Looking at myself in the mirror, I don't feel like I'm going to be glowing. I look disgusting, this horrible pale color with a yellow undertone. I'm not blaming my juice cleanse for my unattractiveness. That I can only attribute to poor genetics and my lack of sun. Now I wish I had asked my parents to send me to LA for a "job fair" and gotten my winter tan on. But honestly, even if after this cleanse I feel all fresh and healthy, how could that be properly translated to the world without the appropriate sun kissed face??
Today, I'm hoping to continue with my job app streak. But I'm not feeling as motivated as I did yesterday. Since I submitted my last app, I've started looking at positions I care more about and would be devastated if I didn't get a call back from. I've also stalked every person remotely related to these companies on LinkedIn to see how they got there. I've discovered that they got there by being better than me.
All my life people have told me not to compare myself to others, but that just seems like the biggest load of crap. Grades, GPAs, resumes, not to mention the load of superficial insecurities that I have that do not relate to job searches are all a comparison game. Sadly, I think that I wanted to do this juice cleanse to make myself a better version of myself. I was hoping that I'd be thinner and prettier and more attractive. Maybe this juice cleanse could be the thing that jumpstarted the me that I always dreamed I'd be? That statement seems potentially harmless. Be your best self, right? But under that statement is the true unshakable insecurities that will undoubtedly haunt for the rest of my life. And unfortunately, there's no juice cleanse to detox me from that.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Juice Cleanse: Day 2

Wake Up (10:20) I woke up on the second day of my cleanse feeling pretty good. However, I'm not sure I can attribute that to the juice cleanse or to the fact that I used Sleep Cycle for the first time since my semester abroad. Waking up to the sound of perfectly timed chimes just feels better than the usual uhhhh fuckkkk what time is it??? hungover-like wake-up I experience during breaks.
What I found strange was what my Sleep Cycle told me: I didn't sleep well. It gave me a 51% sleep rating, telling me I almost never fell into a deep sleep all night. This was particularly surprising since I have a temperpedic bed, so I actually thought the phone would detect less movement than it did on my horrible bed abroad. What does it mean if I didn't sleep well on my juice cleanse?
So right now, I'm watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I'm hoping that watching a less serious, more background TV show will encourage me to actually write some job applications. Wish Me Luck!! I'm also waiting for my tea + lemon to cool down to the recommended "warm" temperature and starring apprehensively at my first juice of the day: Brainiac aka the bane of my existence. That's the juice that took me over 2 hours to drink yesterday and had me start the whole juice cleanse with a
horribly negative attitude.

Lemon Water (10:55) The tea was nice and soothing in my throat. Strangely enough, with every gulp, a little headache began to pang. According to the email I received this morning from Urban Remedy, I will be experiencing those all day. I wonder if they realize that I've actually been experiencing these headaches since my pre-cleanse days. This really does mean that I have a caffeine addiction, doesn't it?

Brainiac (11:15) I was really nervous to try this drink again, since I found it so disgusting yesterday. Today, I still don't like it. I don't even like it as much as I liked the "Flush" drink from yesterday, which I barely liked. The salty celery tasting water is apparently never going to grow on me, but I don't find it as horrible as yesterday. I'm able to gulp it down in under an hour.

Time Machine (1:30) The time machine is the drink that is supposed to help weight loss and kickstart your metabolism, so obviously it's one of my least favorite drinks. It was not as difficult to drink as yesterday, but I'm not downing it due to thirst like I did with Brainiac. I have decided to do something productive today, so I actually put in my retainer for the first time since I joked about wearing it to my sorority's crush party. I'm also beginning to work on my AT&T application and just started the cover letter section (it's my least favorite section!) Just kidding, they said it was optional so I'm skipping ahead and doing that shit later.

Flush (3:45) Drinking with a retainer is weird. Also, I submitted my first job application to AT&T. I'm sure it's horrible, but WISH ME LUCK! I really need to be employed in May. Unfortunately, I'm scrolling through more job applications and am losing any motivation. FYI I haven't showered or even changed out of my pajamas today. Sexy can I, right?

After Party (5:50) My stomach is started to rumble in this strange way. I'm not sure if I'm just hungry or have a stomach ache. I am now watching He's Just Not That Into You and finishing up another cover letter. Also, I would prefer a little less ginger in this drink . . .

Warrior (8:15) Oh how we've met again. Once again my favorite. Except this time I took my retainer out and the chia seeds are actually kind of tough on my newly sensitive teeth. Lesson? I need to wear my retainer more frequently. I'm also LinkedIn surfing now, looking at alums who are in positions I'm applying for. It's funny, I'm pretty sure I'm a good applicant but every time I stalk people, I feel so inadequate.

Relax (9:40) I still don't really care for it, but I'm surprised how well the whole day has gone. It's pretty much the end of the day, and I'm not rolling around in hunger pains or cravings. Even more surprisingly, I've applied to four jobs today. My mom asked me if "it's working" and if I'm feeling really good. I told her I'm not feeling bad? It's been kind of nice not having to think about what I'm eating and how to feed myself, but  I don't feel incredible. Although, I haven't been able to convince myself to submit a single job app until this juice cleanse, so maybe that's enough to say it's worth it? How about this: If I get an interview from any of the job applications I submit during this cleanse, I'll say it was worth the $185. 

Juice Cleanse: Day 1

My first day on my juice cleanse was really difficult. I started the day wondering why in the world I thought this was going to be a good idea. I found the first couple drinks absolutely disgusting and preferred starving myself to forcing more of it down my throat. Honestly, I felt like giving up after the very first drink, already regretting completely wasting $185. Urban Remedy said to take it easy fitness wise during my juice cleanse, so I took that as permission to become a couch potato. My intention was to do some job applications, but of course I just watched TV. Specifically, I bought the first season of Girls and watched that for the first time while grimacing through my juice cleanse. If you want more insight into my thoughts during the first day, here's some tweets:
Here's my review of the drinks on the first day:
Juice #1: Brainiac is made of Cucumber, Celery, Spinach, Parsley, and Lemon. What it tasted like? Watery, salty celery. Gross. It took me 2.5 hours to gulp that shit down. I seriously hated it, especially how salty it was. I understand that they needed to put my sodium levels somewhere in this juice cleanse, but it tasted like they put all of my daily sodium in my first drink. They didn't, but they did put 10% of my daily sodium intake.
Juice #2: I found this one (Time Machine) slightly easier to gulp down. I wouldn't say I liked it, but I didn't grimace quite as much with every sip.
Juice #3: The Flush. I was super worried for this juice. It sounded pretty similar to the other green juice I had had that morning and almost puked up (Brainiac) but its name was even worse. The name 'Flush' made me think that the moment it touched my lips I'd have to run for the toilet. Surprisingly that didn't happen. And the ginger in Flush made the rest of the drink much more tolerable for my taste buds.
Juice #4: It was carrot, beet, apple and ginger juice. I wasn't in love, but it seems like the juices are getting better as the day goes on. I could see myself buying this drink when I'm in a healthy Marina, yuppie mood. Apparently beet juice is amazing for detoxing your liver, so they named this juice "After Party."
Juice #5: A-MAZ-ING. It was a raspberry shake and it made me feel so much better about the whole cleanse. It's odd, but I think the JUICE element of this has been weirding me out. In reality, juices from Naked and Odwalla are pretty thick, so having all the juices so far be so thin and watery kind of disgusted me. But this juice/shake was so thick with the yumminess of raspberries. It was definitely my favorite drink of the day. I think this juice helped me regain my strength...and the drink was aptly named "Warrior."
Juice #6: Relax. I was really expecting to like this drink more. The reviews I read from bloggers said it was amazing, so when I finally got to #6 I thought the day's struggles were already over. But after the thick quality of Warrior, I was disappointed by the thinness of the Cashew milk. I vaguely could taste an horchata-like quality to this drink. I'll probably like it a lot more tomorrow....and now I want a real horchata.

Well, the whole day is done and I'm not feeling as hungry as I thought I would. I think this might be because I went to bed feeling more hungry the night before. That's the final part I feel like I should mention. I just downloaded the app FitBit, which has been giving me a calorie target for each day based on my activity and the amount of weight I want to lose. After all the calories I burned from Soul Cycle, I actually ended up having LESS calories with my real food (and froyo) than on my juice cleanse........Maybe it would've been better to just eat normal food and have a tough workout?

Friday, January 3, 2014

Urban Remedy: Pre-Juice Cleanse

When I was in Geneva, I was feeling pretty lethargic and gross. I got it in my head to do a juice cleanse and be more healthy. Unfortunately, during the summer I didn't have enough time to both enjoy the yummy food in San Francisco and do my juice cleanse. But here I am again in San Francisco for four weeks with plenty of time to do the juice cleanse, so I have no excuse. Well, I guess I did have an excuse. Juice cleanses are pretty freaking expensive. Ranging from around $150-$250 for 3 days.
I looked around at a bunch of local juice-cleanse spots and settled on Urban Remedy because the juices sounded pretty yummy (well for primarily vegetable juices....) When I signed up for the cleanse, I assumed it would just be those three days. But in reality, it's a 9 day ordeal. In order to prep your body for a juice-only diet, Urban Remedy recommends that you cut out pretty much everything that's good in the world.
So basically, I've already been deprived of chocolate and steak and milk and alcohol and everything yummy since January 1st. Unfortunately, I still have 6 more days of cravings and they will only get worse.
However, I think I did a pretty good job with all my diet restrictions. For breakfast, I would have a breakfast scramble full of veggies. I made my parents buy me chicken which I ate at every occasion. I had my fill of pistachios (like honestly it was disgusting). And I watched my friends with envy as they downed chocolate chip cookie after chocolate chip cookie. Oh and I forgot to mention I also peed all the time. Urban Remedy told me to make sure I actually get my 8 glasses of water a day, which made me realize that I NEVER get my full 8 glasses. Even though it seems like 4 water bottles isn't a lot....it's so much water I have to pee every fifteen minutes!!

I must admit, I cheated. I wasn't supposed to eat sugar or soy, but I met up with my friends at FraƮche after I went to a Soul Cycle class and I just couldn't resist the cool, refreshing froyo. But I got it in soy instead of original because I felt like that would be healthier. Unfortunately, I ended my 3-day pre-cleanse period with horrible cravings which were not helped by my brother who dragged me to Krispey Kreme and In-N-Out as I ate my berries....god I want a fucking cheeseburger, with a milkshake, and more cheese on the side...maybe some poutine on the side. FUCK. I have to start a juice cleanse like this.